Marriage, Divorce and YHWH: Do Matthew and Sirah Contradict?
Do Matthew And Ben Sira Contradict?
By James Trimm
It has been alleged in the past that there is a contradiction between Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:3-9 which allows a man to divorce his wife only for the cause of “fornication”, and Ben Sira who advises his student to divorce the wife who “does not go as you direct” (Ben Sira 25:25-26).
But do these passages truly contradict one another? One basic rule of Hermeneutics (objective rules for understanding the Scriptures) is called Analogia Scriptura. This rule tells us that if we understand two passages in such a way that they contradict each other, then we are misunderstanding one or both of them. Similarly the Sixth Rule of Hillel tells us if two passages seem to conflict, one or more other passages can often resolve the conflict.
To begin with we must understand Yeshua’s teaching on divorce in Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:3-9 where Yeshua is commenting on Deut. 24:1. The Torah passage in question is:
When a man takes a wife and marries her,
and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes
because he has found some unclean matter in her,
and he writes her a bill of divorcement,
puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,...
(Dt. 24:1)
Here Yeshua presents a Yalemmedenu Homiletic Midrash on Gen. 2:24 &
Deut. 24:1. The keywords for the midrash are: "man"; "put away" and
"wife." The Midrash takes the following format:
Question/dialog:
19:3 And the P'rushim approached him, and tempted him,
saying, "Is it right for a man to put away his wife for every cause?"
Initial passages:
19:4 And he answered and said to them:
"Have you not read that he who made man the beginning,
'made them male and female' (Gen. 1:27)
19:5 And said,
'Wherefore shall a man shall leave his father
and his mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh' (Gen. 2:24)
Exposition:
19:6 And now then, they are no more two but one flesh
only. What therefore Elohim has joined together
man cannot separate."
Further question/second text:
19:7 But they said,
"And why then did Moshe then command
to give a bill of divorcement, and to put her away
if she was not pleasing in his sight?" (Deut. 24:1, 3)
Exposition:
19:8 And he answered them and said,
"Because Moshe on account of the hardness of your hearts,
allowed you to put away your wives,
but from the beginning it was not so.
19:9 And I tell you,
every man that has put away, or shall put away his wife,
except it be for fornication, and takes another,
commits adultery. And whoever takes the divorced also
commits adultery.
Yeshua's midrash is very relevant to first century Jewish halachic
debate on this issue. Yeshua's use of Gen. 1:27 to prove his halachic
position is paralleled in the Dead Sea Scrolls:
...they are caught in two traps:
fornication, by taking two wives in their lifetimes
although the principle of creation is:
"male and female He created them."
(Damascus Document Col. 4 line 20 - Col. 5 line 1)
except for the cause of fornication – This halacha of Yeshua is given
four times in Scripture (Mt. 5:31-32; 19:3-9; Mk. 10:2-9 & Lk. 16:18)
but only in Matthew is this "escape clause" included giving men the
right to divorce their wives in a case of the charge of davar z'not
essentially "a word of fornication".
Again, the Torah passage in question is:
When a man takes a wife and marries her,
and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes
because he has found
some unclean matter (ervat davar) in her,
and he writes her a bill of divorcement,
puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,...
(Dt. 24:1)
In the first century a major debate was ongoing as to the meaning of
the words for "unclean matter" (davar ervat) in this text. (The Hebrew
word davar can mean "word" or idiomatically "matter". The debate is
recorded in the Mishna as follows:
The House of Shamai say,
"A man should divorce his wife only because
he has found grounds for it
in unchastity (davar ervah)
, since it is said,
"Because he has found in her
an unclean matter (ervat davar) in anything (Dt. 24:1)"
And the House of Hillel say,
"Even if she spoiled his dish, since it is said,
"Because he has found in her
an unclean matter in anything (Dt. 24:1)"
Rabbi Akiba says,
"Even if he found someone else prettier than she,
since it is said,
"And it shall be if she find no favor in his eyes (Dt. 24:1)"
(m.Gittin 9:10)
The controversy surrounded the ambiguity of the phrase "matter of
uncleanness." This phrase in Hebrew can be taken literally, or can be
taken as an idiomatic expression for fornication. Yeshua interprets
davar ervat (to mean davar z'not which the Peshitta (both in Matt.
5:31-32 and in Mt. 19:9) literally translates but which the Old Syriac
paraphrases in Mat. 5:31-32 with "it is said against her `adultery'"
and in Mt. 19:9 "a word of adultery".
In the Scriptures YHWH/Messiah is represented as a bridegroom with Israel being His bride (Hosea 2:16; Is. 62:5; 66:5-13; Mk. 2:19; Jn. 3:29; Rev. 18:23; 21:9; Song of Songs). This relationship serves as a model for our own marriages:
Wives be subject to your husbands as to our Adon,
Because the husband is the head of the wife,
Even as the Messiah is head of the Assembly; and he is the life-giver of the body.
But even as the Assembly is subject to the Messiah,
So also wives [should be subject] to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, as also the Messiah loved his Assembly,
And delivered his nefesh for its sake,…
(Eph. 5:22-33 see also 1Cor. 11:3).
After the time of Solomon the Kingdom of Israel split into two kingdoms known as the two Houses of Israel. The Southern Kingdom became known as the Kingdom of Judah. The Northern Kingdom became known as the Kingdom of Israel. This Northern Kingdom was also often called "Ephraim" after its most prominent tribe. 2Kings 17 tells us of how the Assyrian king Sargon II took the ten tribes of the Northern Kingdom captive in 723 BCE and resettled them so that "none was left except the tribe of Judah" (17:18). These came to be known as "the Lost Ten Tribes of Israel". They were divorced by YHWH (Jer. 3:8 )
Northern Kingdom rebelled against the rightful king, High Priest and Temple. They established their own non-Davidic King, their own High Priest and their own Temple at a new location in the Northern Kingdom. They were unwilling to submit to YHWH’s headship and go as YHWH directed. They, in effect, started their own new religion.
In Jeremiah Chapter 3 the two houses of Israel are discussed. Notice that Israel and Judah are allegorical sisters in this prophecy (Jer. 3:6-7) In Jer. 3:8 YHWH says:
And I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Yisra'el
had committed adultery,
I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce;
yet her treacherous sister Yehudah did not fear,
but went and committed whoring too.
(Jer. 3:8 - The Scriptures Version)
However YHWH did not divorce Judah as well, as that would have left no remnant. Instead the Prophet Hosea compares the two Houses of Israel this way:
"Ephrayim has surrounded Me with lying,
and the house of Yisra'el with deceit.
But Yehudah is still wandering with El,
and is true to the Set-apart One."
(Hosea 11:12 - The Scriptures Version)
YHWH gave the House of Israel a certificate of divorce and sent her away in keeping with Deut. 24:1. The House of Israel had refused to acknowledge his headship and refused to go as YHWH directed.
Now the Hebrew word translated “fornication” in Matt. 5:31-32; 19:3-9 is Z’NOT. This word does not only refer to “fornication”. The Hebrew word z'not can refer to sexual immorality, usually by a woman, but it can have other meanings as well. This word
can refer to one who is an idolater (Lev. 17:7; 20:5-6; Deut. 31:16) or to one that goes astray from YHWH (Ps. 73:27). In fact this word can be translated “going astray”:
For, behold, they that go far from You shall perish;
You do destroy all them THAT GO ASTRAY from you.
(Ps. 73:27)
Husbands hold the same kind of headship over their wives that Messiah holds over the Assembly:
Wives be subject to your husbands as to our Adon,
Because the husband is the head of the wife,
Even as the Messiah is head of the Assembly; and he is the life-giver of the body.
But even as the Assembly is subject to the Messiah,
So also wives [should be subject] to their husbands in everything.
(Eph. 5:22-27 see also Gen. 3:16; Eph. 5:22-27; 1Cor. 11:3; 14:34-35; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:2-5; 1Kefa 3:1-7).
(This authority must never be abused, as the husband is likewise commanded to love the wife, honor her, and treat her as a delicate vessel (Eph. 3:22-31; 1Kefa 3:1-7)).
Just as the House of Israel was guilty of Z’NOT because they had refused to recognize His headship, had gone astray and would not go as He directed, the wife who refuses to acknowledge her husband’s headship “goes astray” (Z’NOT) and does not go as he directs. Thus Ben Sira advises his students:
Allow no outlet to water,
and no boldness of speech in an evil wife.
If she does not go as you direct,
separate yourself from her.
(Ben Sira 25:25-26)
And this in no way contradicts Yeshua’s statement:
…every man that has put away, or shall put away his wife,
except it be for fornication, and takes another,
commits adultery.
(Mat. 19:19 see also 5:31-32)
Don’t forget to support this work with your contributions, tithes and offerings.
Through our free Bible Correspondence course and other free literature and Operation Wake Up Call we are reaching a lost world with Torah and Messiah. Through our blogs, literature and podcasts we are also feeding young believers milk and mature believers nice juicy steaks.
You make this work possible.
You can donate by going to the chip-in counter at http://www.nazarenespace.com; or donations can be sent by paypal to donations@wnae.org
Donations can also be made out to “Nazarene Judaism” and sent to:
Nazarene Judaism
PO Box 471
Hurst, TX 76053
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by cheryl lynn montalvo on -
Bro james, i believe marriage is sacred and should be saved divorce is a good thing when two arent compatiable and no longer share what put them together. That is love, to me when a couple is joined together by marriage it should be they are married they fell in love they both say, and cant be without each other so they chose marriage, but when realy some marriages comes together for sexual reason and some marriages should have never taken place because they were never meant to be, God say 's marriage is sacred yes there are reason to divorce in the bible and that is fornication,and as the other scripture says because the man found her no longer desirable but unclean, but i have a story that will blow you away im married to aman who went to prison for molesting my daughter, but im still with him in marriage as my love for him is strong and based on the bible, yes i could divorce him as the bible states but i chose not to as i am a true believer in Yeshua God says to forgive 70 times 7 that is 490 times ok he also says if we dont forgive others how can he forgive us,,, for ten yrs my husband went to prison for his wrong done to me my daughter and himself. he paid the price and is no longer serving his sentance as he served the whole thing and is now a free man to society, , he can come and go as he please he has a job, he can even divorce me and remarry a women and have a child with her but we chose to stay together as i still love him and him me, and i have truly heard him cry and say and show how remorse he is he knows what he did was wrong and even tried to reconcile with my daughter but she isnt ready all he wants is another chance to have a chance to make up for what he has done to me and my family and his family we were all destroyed by this, i know other women who have been done wrong by a parent and the parents have stayed together and the one lady is joyce meyers, her father did her wrong but her mother and father stayed together and when her parents got old she took them in and took care of them as they were her parents and the father finally turned his life over to yeshua, so yes i believe marriage is sacred and yes divorce is in the holy word, but i believe to many people get married that shouldnt and that is why we have so many divorces even in the church... (you can read this and then throw it away) or share it
-
Permalink Reply by Onieu bahn Duid on
-
Scripture commands us to divorce sometimes. Take for example the account of Ezra commanding everyone divorce their wives. Also, the Shepherd in the Shepherd of Hermas who commands all husbands to divorce their adulterous wives if they do not repent, otherwise they sin by remaining married to them.
-
Permalink Reply by J. Jury (אליהוא) on -
Except that Hosea was instructed by God to marry an adulterous wife.
Anayahu Priel (Andrew P) Carlson said:
Scripture commands us to divorce sometimes. Take for example the account of Ezra commanding everyone divorce their wives. Also, the Shepherd in the Shepherd of Hermas who commands all husbands to divorce their adulterous wives if they do not repent, otherwise they sin by remaining married to them.
-
Permalink Reply by cheryl lynn montalvo on
-
ok but he also says to forgive those who do you wrong so the heavenly father can forgive you your wrongs....so i understand that staying married to some one who did what mine did is wrong in some eyes but he truly regrets his wrong and knows what it cost my daughter and him they will never be friends unless my daughter can get passed it, but my husband endured alot while being incarcaerated for ten yrs and so has my daughter and so have i but i am a faithful wife and mother and i love my family and i have the faith that we can get through any thing with Yah's help....
J. Jury said:Except that Hosea was instructed by God to marry an adulterous wife.
Anayahu Priel (Andrew P) Carlson said:Scripture commands us to divorce sometimes. Take for example the account of Ezra commanding everyone divorce their wives. Also, the Shepherd in the Shepherd of Hermas who commands all husbands to divorce their adulterous wives if they do not repent, otherwise they sin by remaining married to them.
-
Permalink Reply by Yishmael on -
if someone cheats on their spouse the adulterer and the one who they did it with, should both be stoned to death that's Torah.. i will not tolerate humanistic interpretations of Divine Scripture, stoning and no letting off the hook, it's that easy :-)
Since in Yeshua's days stoning was no longer possible (since the Romans controled everything) as the capital punishment, Yeshua is clear that the very least one can do with an adulterer is to divorce that person and one who marries that adulterer becomes an adulterer themselves..
adultery = stoning
that's Torah, please let humanistic ideas not influence any of you
-
Permalink Reply by Lev-Tsiyon on -
Yah'shua became our stoning for those who trust in Him. And as the case of the woman caught in adultery shows, the adulterer is given one chance if he/she is genuinely repentant.
-
Permalink Reply by Barz Ganya on -
Hosea 6:6 For I desired mercy, and not sacrifice; and the knowledge of G-d more than burnt offerings.
-
Permalink Reply by Barz Ganya on
-
I think you need to do a little soul searching gentlemen. Y'shua did not condemn any adulterers nor anyone he came across, and he it was who were granted authority to judge. The woman at the well had had six or more husbands...Y'shua asked nothing of her but for a drink of water so he could teach about something more important than her promiscuity or her people's hypocrisy...When confronted with the teachers who put him to task about a woman who had seven husbands in life , who was to be her husband in the next world...he said none of them and we were all free as angels in that world to come, how much more ought we to beahave as such in this world?
I think how a woman comes to understand relationships from how she is treated by men in those relationships, may matter more when judging than whether or not she were true to one husband, and if the world is full of such men who treat women as no more than objects to have sex with or stone, then the only way she may find of being true to her true husband or G-d is by being adulterous in defense of the one who would never commit adultery but may be caught in the snares and traps of such men who treat one another as hateful animals to either screw or stone...
Therefore, whatesoever is hateful to you, do not unto another, this is the Law, the rest is commentary. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone...and no man born of woman is without sin...
Judge not and you will not be judged., etc.
boker tov...
-
Permalink Reply by James Trimm on
-
I think divorce should be a last resort, but it is permitted when there is a matter of Z'NOT. This should not be done lightly.
-
Permalink Reply by Barz Ganya on
-
After all, since the time of Abraham unto the time of Paul unto present day, we have known it is no blessing and makes life hard for both man and woman to be married in this wrold.
Gen 20:2 And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.
1Cr 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
But this I say, brethren, the time [is] short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
And they that use this world, as not abusing [it]: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the L-rd, how he may please the L-rd:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife.
There is difference [also] between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the L-rd,
that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please [her] husband.
And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the L-rd without distraction.
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of [her] age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
So then he that giveth [her] in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth [her] not in marriage doeth better. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the L-rd.
But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of G-d.
-
Permalink Reply by cheryl lynn montalvo on
-
amen thats what im saying if one is truely remorseful and truly repents of wrong done to a spouse or any one they need a second chance to be frogiven and have a chance to correct things.....so i say yes divorce is in the bible but so is marriage, and it is not to be taken into lightly,,,,so thats all i can say now
Lev-Tsiyon said:Yah'shua became our stoning for those who trust in Him. And as the case of the woman caught in adultery shows, the adulterer is given one chance if he/she is genuinely repentant.
-
Permalink Reply by Onieu bahn Duid on
-
Hosea was not commanded to marry an adulterous woman. he was commanded to marry a fornicating woman. he was then commanded to marry the woman again, but only on the condition that she always be faithful to him.
© 2013 Created by James Trimm.
